So congratulate me. Second posting. Oh yeah. Why the fanfare? Several studies (don’t ask me where I got my facts this is a blog for Pete’s sake. If you want to believe everything you read on the net then go over to Wikipedia) several studies indicate that most blogs (60 to 80% – depending on the math you use) are abandoned soon after creation. A research company who had already found the cure for cancer and were bored one day did a survey of blogs. Wonder if they got a government grant for surfing? Cause everyone’s gone surfing, surfing U.S.A. Their report stated that 66% of blogs surveyed had not been updated in two months.
Over a million blogs are one-day wonders with no postings after that first burst of creative energy. There are something like 2.3 million blogs that have been either permanently or temporarily driven out to the country on a Sunday afternoon and then left by the side of the road under the false belief that some farmer will find them and give them a good home. They just die people. They starve death. Or are eaten by wolves. Look me in the eye and tell me you haven’t abandoned a blog. People like you make me sick. I told you before we went to the blog store – you had to feed it and walk it and update it. Don’t you dare and even think to ask me to get you a fish.
But on a serious note I’m a little worried about this. Are we not creating some sort of virtual cyber pollution? Web warming? World wide web shrinkage? I was researching polar bear websites and most of them are disappearing. The ones that are left are only a few pages and the polar bears have no where to go.
This is the 25th year of the dot com. A company named Symbolics.com was the first dot com in existence. I don’t know if they still exist. I mean I’m not that interested in this to do any real research. The Pentagon tech research agency, DARPA let six companies join them for shared research and that was the start of the WWW as we know it. Today there are now about 120,000 dot coms and do you know why you can can’t get your own name as a dot com? Because there are over 85 million registered dot com names. They have cleaned out the O.E.D. They have pillaged the phone book. Every word has been clear cut in a dot com frenzy. The word forest has nothing left but a few conjunctions and some Gaelic words that no one can spell or pronounce. We will now have to concoct new words just to get by. Or start using Esperanto.
So remember every email, text or twit – I know it’s only 140 characters but every key stroke adds to your binary carbon footprint with . I just hope the hippies don’t find out. I don’t want to be attacked by some dread locked virtual tree huggers in a Zodiac while I blog at my local wireless café.
So congratulate me. That’s it. Oh that feels good. Let the accolades pour over me like lemmings going over a cliff. I have nailed this blog thing cold. Now I just have to come up with something for everyday for the rest of my life.
Blast.
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